Wish I knew what you were looking for, but I probably never will.

When someone tells you theyre sad, your mind instantly jumps to a point when you were sad, the problem is 99.9 percent
of the time, you were a diffrent sad than they were.

Life is a big city we are all in for the first time, and none of us
know where the hell anything is.

We are looking for stuff, but there is no one with definitive directions.
All trying to somehow explain to others whats nearby the thing they are looking for.
thinking we, ourselves, were there once.

We werent, its a fucking big city.

I wish I could believe in re-incarnation, because that would mean that this
isnt the first city of life we are in, that we at least kinda know how to get around “life cities”.
But it’s everyones first time. We dont even know that alernative modes of transportation exist.

And lets face it, trying to find stuff when your walking is a bitch.

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One thought on “Wish I knew what you were looking for, but I probably never will.

  1. Niiiiiiicholai! hi. I especially like this latest blog of yours, the first line of it anyway. It touches on a very real, forlorn feeling of disconnect. Disconnect with what you want to find in life and what you actually find. Disconnect between dreams and reality, between what you want to do with your life and what youve done. between where you want to go, and can actually get to. Selfishly, recently, Ive been struggling with a disconnect with myself, between body and heart, and of course my disconnect from you all the way over in LA;) but the hardest disconnect to accept is that with each other. We are striving at every rate from every direction to be more “connected” have more friends on fb follow more on twitter share more on our blogs, have more sex, because when it comes down to it, we want that closeness, but ultimately there is a limit even between the closest of hearts, there is that moment you mentioned that when you are sad about something and share that with the next person they arent going to truly understand that same sadness you are feeling. Nicholai, I dont know how to resolve it, but I think you are right. But I think its okay to accept those limits to our connections and work with them. That’s how all of math works, at least calculus does, on the concept of limits, so even mathematicians who you’d think would be exacting in nature, dont know where the functions go, they just use limits to explain them:) And a week ago I was watching the escalator, one heading up, the other down, working in totally different directions, yet they somehow work together, so thats my resolution, taking a far enough step back to see a connection in the disconnect… Or maybe just go and buy a scooter or bike? It could help with finding what you are looking for a little faster than the old-fashioned legs. Im dealing with the same difficulty, I moved out to the suburbs and feel a little stuck without a car. At least I have the train, but philly’s public trans could use some help…

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