Imagine that your thoughts are Mahjong cards on one side of a coffee table. There are close to a trillion of them, or whatever the amount of thoughts a person has in their lifespan. Normally we take one card from that side of the table and move it to the other. This is us processing the thought, figuring out how to fix a problem, making something of a situation, connecting the dots, or any other number of things you can do with a thought. Just one at a time, we move them from one side to the other, nice and slow. And if you are like me thinking deeply about each and every one. In the large pile there are also certain cards that you procrastinate moving to the other side of the table, these are the thoughts that you don’t want to know the answers to until certain urgent situations arise in your life that require them. Examples are, would I make a good parent, am I truly responsible, can I support a family, all the big decisions, the ones that require true sacrifice. They are the thoughts that we don’t think about because it is impossible to know what it is you would do until you are actually faced with the situation.
Now imagine, you, with your pile, slowly moving card by card, from one side to the other. Suddenly a person enters into your life, someone who makes all the cards on one side of the table transition to the other, including the cards you’ve been putting off. All of them transitioning at once, when you are only used to transporting one at a time. This person, came out of nowhere, and you truly do want them in your life, but they force you to think about all the heavy stuff. They make you think about every single possible road you can take in life, before you even so much as see the fork anywhere in the distance.
Fuck me, this must be my lucky year.